The fine line between coincidence and destiny
Walking the lineMarch 2010
There is a fine line between coincidence and destiny. That's the whole freedom I have.
I believe that this picture describes the essential meaning of my life. Who am I? Why am I here? How free am I? What is freedom? Does everything have a meaning? Am I dependent on causes? Can I determine my own future? Are there any causes at all? Do things happen by chance?
Mae-Wan Ho wrote in The Biology of Free Will, there must be the law of cause and effect, an acausal world would be one where it is impossible to be free, as nothing would be intelligible. What kind of freedom would it be, if anything would simply and somehow happen? In such a world I could not at be free at all.
In causes - be they known or unknown - I can find an explanation for why I'm feeling the way I feel. Some belief systems go even further, suggesting in my (current) life I would have to carry the can for what others and I have done once. The numbers in my birth date, the position of the planets, are these causes I have to live up now? And if a cause produces a certain effect - how free could I be in this case, if I have to take the rap for my past actions and the actions executed by others? It is on the edge to karma or guilt that the meaninglessness of my life comes to an end.
It seems that neither in destiny nor in coincidence freedom can be found. Does freedom exist at all? How would it manifest? Is freedom important? Am I not a part of the whole? Could I allow myself in my relation to the whole to be free? How important is my part in the integral whole? How important am I?
Sometimes I observe persons who seem to have everything under control. They appear to have control. They seem to be free, because their will happens. They need a lot of energy. They manipulate. They are addicted to the confirmation to be important, and to be free. They depend on it. Then someone or something unexpected happens and suddenly those persons will does NOT happen. Therefore persons trying to control cannot be free either.
Do you recall the quotation from the Bible »Thy will be done«? Would this be a sign of freedom? Is freedom maybe just peace?
Am I free when I am born? Am I free, when I die? Freedom is the culmination of 4 big consciousness related subjects that describe the whole sensuality, joy and tragedy in life: separation, time, guilt and individuation, which is the final perception and synthesis of self.
Separation
I have sensed separateness in my deepest grief. This occurred during a Reiki treatment at the holy Kailash mountain in Tibet, when due to high altitude I was lacking air. It was a surprisingly powerful experience. Thank God I had Reiki to carry me through.
Separation is evident in persons who like the idea of control and being important. Quite often they do not even realize how superimposing on others becomes a superimposition onto their own self's. Separation and guilt may lead to brutal behavior towards others, towards self, towards the whole planet.
»Après nous le déluge«, or the flood may come after me says a lot about the consciousness of separate people. I like the idea weighting the meaning of life in terms of how much service was given the community.
Helmut Schmidt, former German chancellor, was asked in an interview once, how it has felt during World War II to shoot people. He replied that it was in no way different to the feeling of being shot. The wisdom of this so factual man, his rooted spirituality, has deeply touched me.
Guilt
There is also a fine line between forgiveness and guilt. Regarding »guilt« the concept of things just happening beside me has given me peace, showing a way out. With Reiki I realized very quickly that it is not another persons fault of how I am. This was logical, because I started to take responsibility for my life. But thereafter as deep as I took up the concept of separation above, the concept of guilt overcame me, for someone must be blamed for how I am today. Guilt and condemnation towards myself was the consequence. Being guilty in sin is unfortunately a fundamental part of my culture and education! This is paralyzing! It is so easy to find confirmation for my own guilt and to keep this concept in permanent fear. Because letting it go means letting go a major part of my identity - and who am I without this identity?
Individuation
Answers (and courage) around those concepts point to individuation. If I free myself from my prejudices and I can perceive myself in a healthier way. And this is why I find coincidence so sympathetic and helpful. When I say that some things in my life just "happened beside me" I'll remove the emotional charge from my blame, I even negate guilt. The idea is that I'm just present somewhere, let's say by coincidence, and what happens just happens anyway, and not because of me. I just happen to be there and I feel and experience what is happening. It has nothing to do with me. It is a drama, which had taken place with or without me. I believe this is the only view in which I can neutralize the importance of my own ego. I dissolve guilt in my own unimportance. I shake off the whole ballast of this concept. There is a lot of talk about forgiveness these days. But how could it work? Would this question not be similar to the Helmut Schmidt case above? How could there even be forgiveness if there would not be the recognition of guilt in the first place? Forgiveness and guilt are synonymous. And it is on the edge to coincidence that the blame and guilt stop.
Time
Time is closely associated with mortality, and this again with separation. Living with the past fixed and the future unknown makes us feel secure in time, says Michio Kaku. But what is time? Time consists of time past, time present and time future. But the future does not yet exist. The past no longer exists. And the present takes up no time at all. So how then can time exist - already asked Dr. S. Augustine in his confessions in the 4th Century? There is even a fine line between past and future, and perhaps this is just another term for the fine line between coincidence and destiny.
Throughout life, I am walking this fine line, this narrow ridge, which describes the whole meaning of life, the little significance to the abyss of meaninglessness, the little freedom to the limits of responsibility, the small fortune to experience life on edge of inexperience, the little local autonomy, which sets in when my participation in the universe, my obedience to the pulsating unity in synchronicity, in senses and responses makes me act like a wave in the ocean, fully integrated, as Jung once described it, when every cell in the body, every thought in the mind, inside and out, is completely reconciled with all of nature.